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Murmurs from the Losers’ Bracket: Finding Romance on the Pickleball Court: Top 10 Pickup Lines

Murmurs from the Losers' Bracket Frank Cerabino 01-09-2023

We here at Murmurs from the Losers’ Bracket have taken notice of the intersection between pickleball and romance. (*For those new to Murmurs from the Losers’ Bracket, this is a (mostly) humorous tongue-in-cheek opinion piece – don’t take us too seriously.)

Who knew? We thought pickleball was more about actual falling, than falling in love.

But, alas, the term “pickup game” is starting to get a new meaning in pickleball circles.

Take, for example, the Pickleball Club of Carlsbad, a Southern California group that is hosting a Singles Pickleball Social – Round Robin this month.

By the way, “Round Robin”, would be a provocative nickname for a single woman looking to meet guys on the court.

The Carlsbad singles event, which began in July as “Dinks and Drinks”, is now in its fourth iteration. This month’s event advertises “speed dating on the courts” and music that is described as “pumping.”

Murmurs from the Losers’ Bracket: Finding Romance on the Pickleball Court: Top 10 Pickup Lines | Pickler Pickleball

Married pickleballers are expressly deemed out of bounds for this January 14 event, which is expected to draw 60 single players in each of two shifts.

“We sell out every time,” said event organizer Ryan Johnson, a single Realtor who started playing pickleball a year-and-a-half ago and quickly realized the opportunities for romantic engagement on the court.

“It’s a social sport,” he said. “And we go out for cocktails and conversation afterwards.”

The format calls for 30 men and 30 women grouped into a changing set of foursomes. After two minutes of “speed dating” at the net, there’s a 10-minute game, and then the groupings change and the process is repeated until everyone has had a chance to meet.

Along the way there are refreshments, a barbecue, and enough time for a pickler to poach a future date.

“All I ask is that if anybody gets married, I get invited to the wedding,” Johnson said.

Typically, the event attracts more women than men, with people in their 50s being the most common age group, and skill level being in the advanced beginner / intermediate range.

Murmurs from the Losers’ Bracket: Finding Romance on the Pickleball Court: Top 10 Pickup Lines | Pickler Pickleball

It’s really hard to find single guys, because they want to be competitive. This is recreational,” Johnson said. “The guys have to play easy. Don’t bang it off the court.

“They scare off the women. I have to constantly hunt for single guys,” Johnson said. “The women sell out in three days.”

As a full-service pickleball column, we here at Murmurs from the Losers’ Bracket, would like to lend our support to those picklers looking to improve their romantic game on the court.

With that in mind, we have come up with 10 pickleball pickup lines:

  1. “If you show me your DUPR, I’ll show you mine.”
  2. “The minute you hit your first volley I could tell you were an “‘11.’”
  3. I usually don’t go around the post on the first game with a new partner, but I’m making an exception with you.
  4. You’ve got me so distracted, I can barely remember to cheat on the line calls.
  5. Maybe later we can take this to my place, where we can light some scented candles, pop a bottle of wine and discuss the pickleball rule changes for 2023.
  6. Wanna share my Voltaren gel?
  7. Before we go much further, there’s something you ought to know about me: I would never play tennis behind your back.
  8. They tell me I’m quite a banger. I hope you’re not expecting  someone with a soft game.
  9. I would love to step in your kitchen sometime.
  10. I could stand across the net from you forever just dinking in your eyes.

MURMURS FROM THE LOSERS’ BRACKET

Read past editions of Murmurs from the Losers’ Bracket, including:

Murmurs from the Losers’ Bracket: The PPA, the APP and Monty Python | Pickler Pickleball

Frank Cerabino is a long-time columnist for the Palm Beach Post in Florida, a pickleball addict like the rest of us, and a newly published author. Check out Frank’s newly released book, I Dink, Therefore I Am: Coming to Grips with My Pickleball Addiction (available on Amazon and a great read (or gift!) for any pickleball player), for pickleball tips and laughs!

I Dink, Therefore I Am | Frank Cerabino

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