Dear magazine publisher:
Pretty soon, there won’t be an entertainment media outlet that hasn’t waded into pickleball.
The realization that pickleball’s popularity is growing, and some of the nation’s biggest celebrities are embracing it, has led to a rush of pickleball-related stories.
We here at Murmurs from the Losers’ Bracket don’t want anyone to be left out, so we are pitching the following pickleball-themed stories for your magazine. (*For those new to Murmurs from the Losers’ Bracket, this is a (mostly) humorous tongue-in-cheek opinion piece – don’t take us too seriously).
Good luck, and hop on this bandwagon before it leaves the station.
***
Magazine: Cat Fancy
Story idea: Why being a cat owner will make you a better pickleball player.
Excerpt: When it comes to footwork on the NVZ, you can learn more from your cat in an afternoon than you would at a weeklong pickleball camp.
***
Magazine: Coin World
Story idea: Pickleball tournaments and the hunt for medals.
Excerpt: While the metallurgical value may be minimal, medal coins lure players from around the country to compete for these rare collectibles.
***
Magazine: Inked
Story idea: Profile of pickleball pro Tyson McGuffin’s arm.
Excerpt: McGuffin’s artistry is on display even before he picks up the paddle.
***
Magazine: Vogue
Story idea: It’s always Parris (Todd) Fashion Week on the pickleball courts.
Excerpt: Even when Todd plays doubles, she’s a singular fashion presence on the court.
***
Magazine: Guns & Ammo
Story idea: How targeting in pickleball can improve your skeet shooting.
Excerpt: Players who are good at “body bagging” their opponents learn that quick reaction time and superior aim are fine-tuned through hours of drilling.
***
Magazine: Home & Garden
Story idea: DIY ideas for that backyard pickleball court.
Excerpt: And unlike a garden, there’s no need for watering and constant pruning.
***
Magazine: Cosmopolitan
Story Idea: Ten surefire ways to excite your mixed-doubles pickleball partner on and off the court.
Excerpt: If you play things right, nothing is out of bounds.
***
Magazine: Bird Watcher’s Digest
Story idea: Seasonal migration of pickleball players.
Excerpt: Like the birds, they fly south for the winter, roosting in Florida and Arizona for the annual courting rituals.
***
Magazine: Car and Driver
Story idea: Reviewing trunk space for transporting pickleball equipment.
Excerpt: The car handles well, but after a portable net and a ball machine, there’s barely enough room in the trunk for courtside folding chairs and paddle bags.
***
Magazine: Bon Appetit
Story idea: When you have to use pickles in your recipes, like it or not.
Excerpt: Don’t complain. Imagine if the sport was called liverball.
MURMURS FROM THE LOSERS’ BRACKET
Read past editions of Murmurs from the Losers’ Bracket, including:
- The Ozempic Ad
- Ball On Court? Maybe Not
- The PPA, the APP and Monty Python
- Time to Get Help at Bangers Anonymous
- “It’s an Injury Sport”
- A Pickleball Translation Guide
- What’s Your Pickleball Nickname?
- Tennis the Menace
- Is There Such a Thing as “Pickleball Torture”?
- How to Be an Effective Pickleball Snob
- All You Need Is Glove
- The Lesson McDonald’s French Fries Have for Pickleball
- Tunes on the Court
- The Poetry of Empty Courts
- “Head Targeting” Rule Change Not a Brainy Idea
- Getting Beyond “Good Game”
- Why Are Pickleball Trophies Such a Big Deal?
- Stop Messing with the ATP
- When Discussions of Rules Turn Unruly
- A Former Pickleball Addict Speaks Out
- Separating the Drinkers from the Dinkers
Frank Cerabino is a long-time columnist for the Palm Beach Post in Florida, a pickleball addict like the rest of us, and a newly published author. Check out Frank’s newly released book, I Dink, Therefore I Am: Coming to Grips with My Pickleball Addiction (available on Amazon and a great read (or gift!) for any pickleball player), for pickleball tips and laughs!
