It’s a new year. Time for us at Murmurs from the Losers’ Bracket to sit down with the ice pack and make some pickleball resolutions for the new year.
Some people consider resolutions to be foolhardy exercises in misguided self-improvement. But I disagree.
I’ve looked through some of my pickleball resolutions in previous years, and I can say that I’ve been pretty faithful to them.
For example, my resolution not to blame the wind while playing indoors remains rock solid. (I blame the harsh overhead gymnasium lighting now.)
And I still keep in mind my goal of being kind to new players of the game, because you never know whether later on one of them will turn out to be your orthopedic surgeon.
Playing smart. That remains my goal, although for some reason it doesn’t seem to include keeping the ball in play enough
We all have areas of improvement yet to conquer, some more than others. And I find it helps to identify them, which is why resolutions are a good idea, I think.
As you will see, I’m not going to address line calls in 2025. I briefly considered making a resolution that says something like this, “I will try to be more honest in making close line calls not in my favor.”
But then I thought, “Let’s not get carried away here.” Right? I mean, there are resolutions for self-improvement that are within reach, and then there are those things better left unaddressed.
Like line calls. Stuff’s gonna happen. Best to just move on.
So, here are my pickleball resolutions for 2025, 10 resolutions I plan to keep – at least until February.
1. I will have a new attitude in 2025.
I will try to convince myself that I am not getting worse. That, instead, I possess an uncanny gift of making everybody else around me play way better than they otherwise do.
2. I will stop looking for cracks in the ball after I hit a drop shot short into the net.
There’s nothing wrong with the ball, no matter how much I try to make a crack magically appear to restore some of my dignity.
3. I will keep my pre-game medical report to under 30 seconds.
Nobody wants a blow-by-blow description of a casual acquaintence’s lower body aches and pains.
4. I will buy no more than three new paddles in the year.
If my DUPR doesn’t go up after the third new paddle, I will try something else, like clinics, yoga, or exorcism.
5. My wife and I will keep finding new couples to play doubles with.
This will offset those who we stop playing because they either (a) beat us or (b) body-bag us too much.
6. For outdoor play, I will play more at night and less during the day.
This ought to make me avoid wearing silly-looking floppy hats or being sun-damaged enough to look like a human-sized walnut.
7. I will stop asking my partner “You wanna stack?” when I secretly hope the answer is “No.”
Which is all the time.
8. When somebody on the court announces the score as 3-2-1, I will refrain from saying “Blast off!”
But I will reserve the right to say, “Good buddy,” whenever the score gets to 10-4.
9. When my time is up on the court and the next group of players are waiting, I will not tell them, “Just a couple of minutes more, the score is 10-9.”
Especially when the score is actually 3-2.
10. In an attempt to stay uninjured, I will not play pickleball more than once a day.*
* Before lunch.
MURMURS FROM THE LOSERS’ BRACKET
Read past editions of Murmurs from the Losers’ Bracket, including:
- Partnering with a Giant: Hitting the Wall in Pickleball
- Ten Things Not to Say on a Pickleball Court
- Oh, the Horror! Playing with a Pickleball Partner who won’t Move Up
- Not a Softie When it Comes to Pickleball with a Foam Ball
- Do Pickleball Prayers Get Answered?
- Ten Tips for Being “Nice” at Pickleball
- Attention Pickleballers: Be On The Lookout For “Ball Blowers”
- The Etiquette Crisis with “Open Play”
- Lob into the Sun? Maybe, Maybe Not
- Mastering the Diplomacy of Round-Robin Scheduling
- Confessions of a Paddle Addict
Frank Cerabino is a long-time columnist for the Palm Beach Post in Florida, a pickleball addict like the rest of us, and a newly published author. Check out Frank’s newly released book, I Dink, Therefore I Am: Coming to Grips with My Pickleball Addiction (available on Amazon and a great read (or gift!) for any pickleball player), for pickleball tips and laughs!
